Sandwich Options

[james]

Last week in the pub, Paul Mike S and myself were discussing sandwiches, Paul started it by telling us about how one of his work colleagues was obviously gay because he had a sandwich he had made himself with something, rocket and pesto in it. The point being that no man should make a sandwich with green stuff let alone be able to identify rocket.

I mentioned this in conversation with Matt and Jamie (more on that later) and thought I would conduct a quick straw pole to check our assumptions about masculinity - so I asked a few people who were on MSN at the time:

QUOTE

Piper: beef salad James: what sort of salad? Piper: lettace and cucumber and spring onion

Despite quoting salad Pipe's spelt 'lettuce' wrong so he's in the clear

QUOTE

Frase: probably, ham, salami, pepporoni, with the trimmings, plus bbq sauce & mayonaise

No problems there

QUOTE

Janette : er - probably something quick cos i'm lazy - maybe cheese and ham with a bit of salad? and mayonnaise

Said salad but she's a chick so that's a-ok

QUOTE

Mike : probably some thing with a lot of meat and some chili to spice it up.

Good answer!

QUOTE

Jamie: chicken

Fine

QUOTE

Michael: Liver sausage. Or chicken breast

Again fine

For me it would be bacon - love bacon sarnies.

And then there was Matt's answer (not on MSN but in the pub):

QUOTE

Sun dried tomato, mozzarella and smoked salmon. On a bagel.

Oh my fucking word.

[quaker]

shirt lifter for sure !!!!

[Egg Designer]

sun-fucking-dried tomato??????

Obviously keeps a botle of Chanel no. 5 inhis handbag too!!!

Gayer than a gay thing that just came first in a being gay competiton

[Emily]

why dont you open a 'sachet' of whoopass on him

[womble]

We are so ahead of the rest of the world with the sandwich issue.

They must be spying on our site!

[paul]

QUOTE

A product manager at office products firm Avery Dennison said: "They say you are what you eat and this research clearly indicates key personality types."

It sure does doesn't it Bagel Boy!!!!!

[womble]

I think we should post a link to our findings on the Sky website
Get the sight international.

[Matt]

Ok Ok....

While it would be easy to sit back and let you kids loose with your rumours and acusations, bringing my masculinity into question and my prestigous reputation into disprepute, it is only fair to usher fourth and personify my disgruntlement at your rediculous postulations.

For many years I have been silent on these ringer boards and was waiting for a suitable moment to spring forth from the shadows and chop you all down. Well now is my window of opportunity, my time to appear and put you all to shame.

James's story was correct up to a point, at which it goes wildly off course, making me out to be of questionable sexuality and dubious masculinity. It was nice of you all to get on the bandwagon, accepting it as gospel truth, besmurching my good name. Well Im here to put you straight for James's story was rediculous and untruthful.

For the record....

The tomatos are sun "blushed", NOT "sun dried".

and the bagel should be made with high protein (low carb) flower.

Glad we cleared that up.

[james]

I still cannot believe that I walked in on a conversation between Janette and Matt yesterday on the merits and subtle differences between sun dried and sun blushed tomatoes. Were it not for the fact that Janette has breasts and is therefore exempt from my wrath with regards to that subject (plus the fact she made us all lunch) I can only imagine what might have happened.

[neil]

Matt, the differnence is irrelivant. (like my spelling)

You are still a fag.

[Emily]

It is true Matt , for it was only yesterday that you admitted to me how you like the bum sex.

It was also only yesterday that Janette cough my eye while asking this question and proceeded to blush, possibly somewhat like the tomatoes.

[Aly]

May I just ask, what's the Ringer stance on 'The Sainsburys Christmas Club Sandwich'?

I'm rather partial to this seasonal snack but obviously I don't want to be purchasing a sarnie that isn't fully endorsed by the Patrol for risk of ridicule and castigation.

I can't see there being a problem with turkey and sausage meat and surely the fact that its made with 3 slices of white bread rather than the usual 2 adds a few plus points?

However I am slightly concerned by the use of Cranberry sauce (jam basically) and the chesnut stuffing mayonaisse. There is also some sort of green in there. I can't remember off hand but I believe It may be water cress.

If you could get back to me asap as its nearly lunchtime.......

[camsmith]

My vote -> Not unless you're a hairdresser!

(tee hee you said chestnut! That's chest and nut in one word!)

[james]

Thats a tricky one. Club sandwich as a rule is good and manly but as you so rightly point out, the accouterments are leaning it towards the dark side. But then three slices of bread can't be a bad thing. However water cress i quite gay.


I think on balance as it is an attempt to emulate christmas dinner (a very manly occasion in my opinion - drinking and eating too much before farting a lot and falling asleep is surely the essence of masculinity) makes it a laudable sandwich - with the caveat that at any other time of the year it would be enough to get you a free club pass in Brighton.

[womble]

My be the green stuff is actually sprout?
If it is then this is definitely ok as Sprouts are the main ingredients for a stitch ripping fart which as James pointed out is a manly factor of the Xmas meal.
If it isn't Sprout then the removal of such green stuff should be considered.
You could always improve the manlyness of the sarny by adding raw chili?

Yeah but no but yeah but no, wait dont those sandwiches get cut in to triangles?